but even without the marijuana , a coffee and a cigarette is such an enjoyable experience that I will even carry the compulsion to roll cigarette after cigarette until the coffee cup is empty !
so deciding to quit is no mean feat !
Tobacco , its actually quite a satisfying word to say actually ….. it conjures images in my minds eye of zippo lighters , bourbon whiskey , james dean rebels and neon flashing pub signs with familiar brandings such as ' Budweiser ' and ' Marlboro ' ( seems heavily geared towards the send up of the Americans international image lol )
wafting smoke on warm summer breezes , post coital languishing smokes - a warming companion on a chilly frost edged morning with steaming cups of hot coffee
the psychology associated with the stuff is incredible
I used to love to smoke tobacco , a rich smooth Virginian tobacco - ah but alas , just like coca cola and the walt Disney company its a veneer, a psychological addiction to an artificial sense of familiarity - the comfort of the familiar - the smell of freshly baked bread, the scent and embrace of a loved one after a prolonged estrangement ! and of course the appeal of excess !
unfortunately in the age of artificially imposed austerity ….. excess has become somewhat grotesque !
If I had a big bag of weed , I would be inclined to smoke it and render my time frame all the more leisurely than it might otherwise be …
and to some extent the same is true of tobacco - to prolong a smoke break from a shift structured day , by indulging in that extra cigarette !!
but the trick psychology and the factual actuality are indeed very different things …..
in truth - lungfuls of stale ashtray tasting cancer in the small hors of the morning - a dry mouth - an increased heart rate - artificial anxiety personified !
yellow fingered , musty clothed chain smoking …… forever seeking suitable sating satisfaction in the next cigarette or the cigarette after
small spaces , choking yellow stained walls
and damp fingers cant roll in the rain ! and the rain holds the exhaust scent to my clothes !
fewer and fewer smoking areas and more and more non smoking areas … even in bars now , no longer a suitable companion with a beer anyway !
porked , fucked and percentaged by an exchequer full of shit !
for 21 years on the hour every hour when and where possible …. a few per hour for a row ! or a stressful transition
twice the price you would pay on the continent !
to spend money on a commodity you cant even eat - that actually supresses your appetite ! doesn't even get you high - if you like that sort of thing !
to emphatically consume ! or be doomed to eternal want and rationing - perpetually impatient for the next fix
coffee too I am sure - but one thing at a time !
I will miss it I am sure , and at the same time … I wont !
I have started the long process of offering farewell to this long standing friend ! and I am substituting the habit for dried lavender flowers actually !! and actually it seems to be working ! although a friend suggested that I might become addicted to the action of smoking as opposed to the actual nicotine - but I will always have a penchant for joints - and so long as no percentage is being taxed by a phoney exchequer !! I could live with that !
I cant smoke an e cigarette seeing as the industry that is required in the production of these things - is nearly as bad if not worse than the tobacco industry itself
surly if every smoker switched to an e cigarette it would warrant the electrical consumption worthy of damming some remote valley somewhere … but if every one started smoking lavender ?? well there would just be more lavender about , and I am sure the bee's wouldn't mind that at all
so as fond as I have been made to feel for you you hideous poison of magnate conglomerates … I shall bid you adieu x
but I suppose I will remain a ' smoker ' for now …….
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