A mid life crisis in a societal collapse ....

well what can i say , turning 40 years old during a pandemic as the world goes to pieces on the eve of a third world war ....a self apponited set of ' delegates ' earning handsome returns as the majority of the population goes without , its reminiscent of several periods in history that as testanent would dictate havent gone well ...... so, in light of many factors , most of all and above all else i think i am a bit if a hopeless romantic really , i just adore having a female presence around and after around 18 months as single now i figured , give online dating another shot ,you see i find you lady women are to me the finest and most confounding of all the universes mysteries, and as i turn 40 i am of course inclined to reflect back on some of the amazing creatures that i have shared my little journey with so far , and oh my goodness i have been exceptionally lucky ,even more so when I consider how many of them remain in contact and on good terms , of course it seems that can't always be the case ,and in the few cases that there are , it does pain me for the former lovers that preferred to revert to strangers rather than friends , in my mind ... if i have loved you ,then ill always love you ,i don't have a means to extinguish a sense of care for a person for whom i have cared deeply . I just dont understand the concept that you hear a lot these days " i wouldnt piss in my ex if they were in fire " ....who the hell walks around with that much malice in their heart ... well anyway , the point for this little post and accompanying cartoon is because i was recently afforded the opportunity to go out on a date with a girl 20 yeaes younger than me , i knew when we started chatting that this girl had the potential to turn my whole life inside out in a very short order .... i spent a few days practicing the mantra ' you might be having a mid Life crisis ' but hell what sort of fool would turn down such an opportunity .... so we go out and this beautiful nervous little thing is of course the most captivating creature i have seen in a long while , we discuss her reflections about her consideration of ' daddy issues ' and i reflect back on my midlife crisis justification for even considering this as a dynamic .... and we set a second date... now of course this is folly... thankfully the young lady in question saw reason and decided that it wasnt to be ....but i didnt , i wouldnt have not until it was far too late , it's a funny thing despite being familiar with many female companions over the years ...i am still a sucker for that little spark of chaos, far to old and worn out to entertain it these days of course ,but in days gone by, in bustling a bar room dynamic , i recall the chemistry that used to be apparent...you would talk to one girl , maybe dance with another .. all good fun but every now and again , you meet eyes with someone that has that air of mischief , that little spark of chaos , a vibe , an aura ... an energy ....an uspoken language tells you that you are excited about each other ....from across the room , this is something that just cant be emuated online , regarless of how immersive the meta verse would like to pretend to be these days with all the online chat its even stranger and upon reflection with my much younger companion the other evening ....across the twenty years that separated us , we both concluded that it's depressing ..... but there is a broader observation worth making here , several in fact , which I am still reflecting on and may well come back to re address at a later stage