The Narcisist and the Empath

Gosh , the internet has fallen rather short of its original promised potential hasn't it !

Buzz words and mob mentality directed my market driven Analytica, and I am sitting here considering these two ' buzzwords ' in particular at length, relative isolation from this current quarantine leaves ample room for adequate self reflection !

Self Reflection , its actually something of an inherent tangent to my given vocation - sat alone for hours on end, quietly rendering, the thought processes involved , much like the images I render tend to swirl and undulate around some common areas. As I reflect on the blank page that was , the lines rendered so far and the vague direction that path to an idealized completion might take , the person rendering it ….. for whom ….. and of course why ?

It has occurred to me recently based on the accusations of some crazy ex's - that maybe all art is a form of narcissism , after all, what kind of self aggrandizing arrogance would assume , that the thing that I feel the creative tendency to manifest - is worth doing at all ? are my thought processes , my notions so well formed that they presented to the public as ' worthwhile ' ….. to not only be so self impressed and important to not only render a thing and want other people to like it , even buy it , and somehow offer some external validation for my own human condition and all of the crushing self doubts that go with it - by and the sorry desire to be accepted , even recognized by a society that by and large …. I pathologically loathe !!

I guess it can easily be construed as a kind of narcissism - if you take any of the ' internet articles that have clearly been written by embittered women - for embittered women ' as a golden truth , on the same peg though - Art not only a vehicle for shameless self promotion - is a tried and tested means of connecting, of communicating - a great way to note . define and enact empathic tendency

So it really has made me quite cross ! and in many ways still does , when the shamelessly uninformed make rash judgements and decisions based on poor research or a single life perspective and somehow try to apply it as a metric standard to the world based on only that !

We live in a weird time, on the back of some pretty weird precedents , of fake news and propaganda - divisive ideals , in boris johnsons Brexit Britain in Donald trumps age of the charlatan , it can be hard to know for certain which way is up ! ( personally I have never been that keen to jump on the back of another mans cause - jeez I have enough of my own )

I see a lot of broken hearts these days , and some of them … too many of them just seem to remain broken, and it does seem to me to be quite a common factor or dynamic - the girl based on her internet research and a couple of episodes of Jeremy kyle believes she has ascertained the permanent position of ' empath ' or ' lightworker ' or some such other new age bullshit ! and the guy …. well the guy is often typecast as the overbearing narcissist ( from my personal experience anyway ) - and it really does grind my gears- this Nazi style pigeon holing

So Ladies , I am writing this little bit here just for you x

Ever shave your legs ?
vie for jewellery  ?
pluck your eyebrows ?
make up ?
dress up ?
selfie ?

suddenly decided that maintaining your closed little version of happy happy joy joy - keeping your peace , was a more cereberlly attuned means of getting by in a society of this size , by simply cutting out that which might contravene your happy place …. instead of maintaining engagement in discussion, debate and reasoning - within even a hostile environment such as we have built for ourselves

then you my dear are a fucking narcissist !!! - or at least exhibit multiple symptoms of the condition !

just because you well up over little things during your difficult time of the month does not make you a fucking empath !! in just the same way that a penchant for the creative tendencies are not categorical indications of narcissi

These are both temporary states ! for a well rounded and constantly evolving human entity to be prone too

a perfectly flawed human being with aspiration enough to attempt to be better !!!!

for the sake of my difficult middle class ex's that have really missed the point - why don't you take another fucking vacation and think about that sweetheart x